Titel: Re: Englisch-Text kontrollieren
 Marco D. hat folgendes geschrieben: |
| Wäre super, wenn ein paar Leute die fit in Englisch sind, mal meinen geschriebenen Text gegenlesen könnten. ;)
Fehlerkorrekturen ausdrücklich erwünscht. ;) |
Mal sehen ...
| Marco D. hat folgendes geschrieben: |
| What kind of person would you like to be friend with (or not)? Describe your ideas in a text that does not only list traits but explains your choice.
Most important: He/She has to be friendly, fair and nice. That’s necessary because I hate people who like to argue and answer spitefully. So he/she needs to have a sunny disposition. Further I expect honesty. Lies and untruths are horrible. If he/she kept secret something important to hurt me I’d finish the friendship immediately and directly. *1* In return I think I’m also an honest person thus we both shouldn't have problems. Moreover he should be able to keep secrets (private) *2* that means not to talk about things I discussed with him in trust. In my opinion this trait is a big impression of friendship because it’s a great possibility to talk with friends about your problems and find solutions together. He/She must also be helpful *3*. That means he/she mustn’t be too lazy for example to help with homework or something like this. Or if you forget your pencil, he/she will lend\borrow one of his/hers to you. Another trait of character absolutely needed *4* is respect towards the whole world and me *5*. This is related to friendliness and means not to play a trick on somebody nastily. As already said I really hate (such) *2* people who just *6* can advise others on them in this way. I also hate childish behaviour that includes playing up, doing senseless things and silly jokes. As a result I prefer a serious behavior, which does not necessarily mean that I don’t understand jokes and fun. That’s not the point. But jokes on a very low level are terrible and simply annoying! Here you can find a relation to respect. Disrespect for others is one reason for such things like making fun of somebody. Another trait I strongly hate *4* is enviousness. When he/she begrudge something to me because he/she also wants to have that. In my opinion somebody should be able to control its enviousness. I’m also sometimes envious (who’s not ?) but I try to hide it because this trait can destroy relationships very quickly. Arrogance is upsetting. You are bigheaded when you always think you’re the best, the cleverest and the most beautiful. So he/she always wants the focus on himself/herself. That is a pain in the neck for me. |
*1* Wie gemeint??? Der Satz ist etwas verworren ...
*2* Redundancy ... I'd leave it out :P
*3* IDK if helpful is really the right word at this place ... Consider using cooperative ...
*4* Take care of the order of subject, predicate and object :P
*5* Donkeys always mention themselves first ...
*6* That part of the sentence seems a bit weird to me ... IMHO you'd better use who only advise others on what to do.
Allgemein die Anmerkung: In englischen Fließtexten keine Kurzformen verwenden. Ich hab's bei meinen Korrekturen jetzt nur der Kürze halber gemacht.
Ansonsten noch paar Dinge am Rande: Versuch deine Satz-Konstruktionen etwas zu variieren und gezielter Sätze auch zusammenzufassen. Es klingt im meist nicht allzu sonderlich, wenn jeder zweite Teilsatz mit that oder and verbunden wird. Manchmal ist zusammenziehen oder die Konkatenation über den Austausch von Wörtern zu realisieren der bessere Weg.
HTH.