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procedure TForm1.Button3Click(Sender: TObject);
begin
  FreeAndNil(Autos[Self.Tag]);
end;					

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procedure TAuto.BtnCloseClick(Sender:TObject);
begin
 PostMessage(Self.Handle, WM_KILL_CONTROL, 0, Integer((Sender as TButton).Parent));
end;					

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procedure TAuto.WMKillControl(var msg: TMessage);
var
   c : TControl;
begin
   c := TControl(msg.LParam);
   if not Assigned(c) then
      Exit;

   c.Free;
   windows.MessageBeep($FFFFFFFF);
end;					

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procedure TAuto.BtnCloseClick(Sender:TObject);
begin
 (Self.Owner as TObject).Tag := Self.Tag;
 form1.Button3.Visible :=true;

end;					

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procedure TForm1.Button3Click(Sender: TObject);
begin
FreeAndNil(Autos[Self.Tag]);
button3.Visible := false;
end;					

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unit objekte;

type
  TAuto = class(TPanel)
  private
    FCloseClick: TNotifyEvent;
    procedure BtnCloseClick(Sender:TObject); 
  published
    property OnCloseClick: TNotifyEvent read FCloseClick write FCloseClick;
  end;

{...}
procedure TAuto.BtnCloseClick(Sender:TObject); 
begin
  if Assigned(FCloseClick) then
    FCloseClick(Self);
end;					

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type
  TForm1 = class(TForm)
    procedure CloseButtonClick(Sender:TObject);
  private
  public
  end;

{...}

{
 wo immer du ein Auto anlegst:
 Autos[x].OnCloseClick := CloseButtonClick;
}

procedure TForm1.CloseButtonClick(Sender:TObject);
begin
  FreeAndNil(Autos[TAuto(Sender).Tag)]); // müsste eigentlich so klappen
end;